Timothy Patrick McMahon

Yes, THAT Timothy Patrick McMahon!

Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

We are just monkeys

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This video does a nice job of summing up my own personal philosophy.

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

January 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

Saxtons River Elementary Schools

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I recently found my 4th grade “yearbook”.  It’s just a bunch of photos that were photocopied, printed and then bound together.  I am feeling old because the pictures all square with rounded edges (plus the fact that this was 29 years ago). Do they even make film like that anymore?

When I think about 4th grade I think about Atari, sledding at Jason Abare’s house and sliding through dog poop, the video game cabinets also at his house and the rope swing he had that scared the crap out of me, learning how to play football (and liking it), being pushed into little league (and hating it), Bob Osgood’s awesome tree fort, maple syrup, really liking school and really liking the school building (is it weird for a nine year old to appreciate architecture?), seeing my first movie on a VCR (Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory) at Marianna Luring’s house (it was a class trip after we read the book), Marianna Lurings fingers (the were long and skinny and the image of the has stayed in my head for years), the three legged dog who lived two blocks away,  the recorder, having to go to speech therapy because I lisped and my TH’s sounded like S’s, taking piano lessons, learning to play Dungeons and Dragons, the silver short band radio I had which at night received signals from very far away, the dog we thought was a stray and took in and named Sheba only to find out it belong to the neighbors and her name was Jesse, playing tag on our bikes with tennis balls in the summer, being really into Casey Kasems top 40, sliding at Vermont Academy, thinking Vermont Academy was a college, waiting for The Return Of The Jedi to come out the next year, first noticing girls in that “special way”, playing with firecrackers, being able to go out and explore the town in ways I would never let my 4th grade daughter do now, getting into my first (of only two) fist fights as a kid (not counting the ones I had with my brother), swimming at the rec, the YMCA day camp, Shel Silverstein & Japanese styled ink paintings, monarch butterflies and milk weed, making crystals, the bad school sandwiches that were on stryrofoam plates and wrapped in plastic, that cool big blue house (again, what’s with the architecture?), learning to blow my nose without a tissue, getting my first alarm clock (which is still on my bedside table and still works!), the silver triangular climbing thing on the playground, the big concrete sewer pipes on the playground, the grocery store in town with the scary old couple and the dusty shelves who had the best candy, and the other grocery store in town who would sell me cigarettes (for my mom).

I’ve scanned the yearbook.  You can see the pages on Flickr

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

March 11, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Posted in History, Me, Photo, Thoughts

In my humble opinion…

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Every Facebook fad puts FB one small step closer to being the next MySpace.

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

February 7, 2010 at 8:47 am

Posted in Me, Random Crap, Tech, Thoughts

THE DAYS OF MIRACLES AND WONDER

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A humorous short story about time travel, technology, politics, cynisism and perspective. – I enjoyed.
Written By Greg Knauss, From his blog “An Entirely Other Day” – Entitled THE DAYS OF MIRACLES AND WONDER

AAAAAaaaaaagh!”

“Please calm down. Breathe deeply. Anxiety is a normal part of the temporal displacement field. It will pass quickly. OK. OK? OK. Now: Hello. I am you, from the year 2010, two decades in the future.”

“Aaaaaaaagh!”

“I said, calm down. The panic will pass.”

“Calm down? Calm down? You’re fat! And bald! I’m going to be fat and bald!”

“Hold up there, Sparky. You’re already fat. And will it help with the bald thing if I assure you that you’re, um, romantically involved on a regular basis?”

“But…”

Regular basis.

“Yeah, OK, fair trade.”

“I’ve come to the past to tell you two things.”

“Other than the bald thing?”

“Yes. Other than the bald thing.”

“Is it about nuclear war? Because radiation would explain why all your hair has fallen out.”

“In 2010, Apple will introduce a new computer, called the ‘iPad.’”

“Hee!”

“You’re thinking of a sanitary napkin joke, aren’t you?”

“Hee!”

“Would you like me to describe this computer to you?”

“Is Apple even still around? Microsoft just launched Windows 3.0 and—”

“It’s about the size of a piece of paper, half an inch thick and weighs a pound an a half. It has 64GB of storage, can play tens of thousands of songs and can display everything from photos to high-quality video. It has a touch-sensitive screen, is completely wireless and can connect to the Internet from just about anywhere.”

“Aaaaaagh!”

“Pretty cool, huh?”

“Holy crap! Oh, my God! Do you guys have, like, flying cars, too? Did aliens come and give you this technology? That means I can get USENET anywhere.”

“Um. Yeah. The Internet expands a bit from USENET, by the way.”

“Gopher?”

“Yeah. Gopher.”

“Oh, man. Can I see it? Do you have one?”

“Well, no, I don’t have one, because it won’t come out for another two months. But, here, I’ve got a smaller one that can make phone calls, too.”

“Aaaaaaagh! Oh, my God. This is so cool! All this, and I’m getting laid, too? People in the future must be so happy!”

“Actually, no. People are sort of disappointed.”

“What? How is that even possible?”

“That brings me to the second thing I want to tell you. In 2008, America elects a black man President.”

“What? Really? Like Morgan Freeman in ‘Deep Impact’?”

“No, you anachronistic goober. That movie doesn’t even come out until 1998.”

“So, he’s like Disraeli or Thatcher, right? Only Nixon can go to China? He’s really conservative? Please tell me you don’t elect Alan Keyes President.”

“No, no. His name is Barack Hussein Obama.”

“OK, now you’re just screwing with me.”

“No. Totally serious. He’s liberal, intelligent, deliberative, pretty much everything the country needs after Bush.”

“Bush? But Bush is President now. Please don’t tell me that he’s still around in 2008!”

“Oh, no. You’ve got the good Bush. The other one is who Obama is cleaning up after.”

“Wow! That’s awesome. That’s wonderful to hear. People must be really— Oh. You’re going to do that thing again, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. A lot of his supporters are disappointed.”

“With what? A liberal black guy got elected President!”

“And in his first year, he prevented a second Great Depression, has stopped torture as official policy, is winding down an unnecessary war, has dramatically opened up the transparency of government and has gone a good way towards restoring America’s place in the world.”

“And people are disappointed?”

“They want more.”

“Like the people disappointed with the computer?”

“Yes.”

“So people in 2010 are dicks?”

“They’re cynics.”

“Oh, please. I’m a cynic, and all this stuff sounds incredibly great.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you, 1990 me. Your cynicism is important, even vital. God knows, there are times when it will seem like bunnies-and-rainbows optimism given what actually happens. Things get really, really bad for a while, and no amount of cynicism seems like enough.

“But I also wanted to make sure that there are some things that are, in fact, awesome. The world’s been through a hell of a lot, and I’m not sure I trust my own eyes anymore. I don’t agree with every one of Obama’s policies and I doubt that I’ll buy an iPad, but does that make their existence any less amazing? What would the bright-eyed, long-haired, involuntarily celibate version of myself from two decades ago think?”

“I think it’s amazing. All of it. And I’m even ignoring the fact that you can apparently time-travel.”

“Good. That’s good to know. I look at some of the stuff that’s going on, what we can do and what we’ve done, and I want to be astonished. But some small, mean, broken part of me thinks it will all go to hell, that it’s a trap.”

“Wow. You really are cynical, aren’t you? It all looks great to me. Magic. The future! Man.”

“OK. Thanks. Oh, and two more things.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever used the words ‘Meh’ or ‘Fail.’”

“OK.”

“And in a couple of years, when you’re deciding if you want to go on a blind date with someone’s lawyer friend, do it.”

“Seriously?”

“Talk about awesome.”

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

February 3, 2010 at 1:07 pm

#hastags

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I don’t think that I am using enough #hashtags in my life. Gotta work on that.

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

December 13, 2009 at 9:06 am

Posted in Me, Tech, Thoughts

In need of a good read

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Mark Leyner, will you please write another novel? Thank you.

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

September 24, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Posted in Books, Me, Thoughts

What I Had For Lunch

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Caesar – The laziest of the salads, and yet so pretentious as well. In my mind, it is the Ignatius J. Reilly of leafy green meals.

Written by Timothy Patrick McMahon

August 12, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Posted in Me, Thoughts